So There Was an Earthquake Today...

Well, there was an earthquake today on the east coast, and pretty much everybody is acting like it was the end of the world. The epicenter of the 5.9 magnitude quake was in some made-up-sounding place called Mineral, VA, where there are apparently a lot of nuclear power plants, which is not at all unsettling. When the shock waves hit NY, I was sitting in a movie theater watching The Help, which was awesome, and it felt like all the muscles in my legs had started spasming. I got really worried for about a minute, I actually thought I was going crazy, but then it stopped and I promptly forgot about it. Until I left the theater. As I was walking down the street I heard some dude screaming into his phone that there had been an earthquake in Brooklyn. That confused me until I remembered my "leg spasms." Then I felt like an idiot.
Luckily, nothing too bad happened here, and, from what they're saying on the news, no severe damage has occurred. Still, really weird day. I'm sure everyone on the west coast is rolling their eyes and acting all aloof, because the babies on the east coast have flipped out about a little 5.9 magnitude earthquake, but it's a damn weird feeling. We don't do that kind of thing on this coast. That's why we live on the east coast. That, and because it's obviously superior in every way, but I digress.
I must say that between an earthquake on the east coast, tornadoes in the Southeast earlier this year, and Hurricane Irene thundering towards the coast, I'm not so sure those Mayans were as full of baloney as I had thought. I'm just going to go ahead and say that if another weirdo natural disaster happens any time soon, I'm going to start gearing up for the dystopian post-apocalyptic landscape. Anybody got a cheap bowie knife I can buy? Also, you best believe I will not hesitate to go to the library in hopes that Jake Gyllenhaal will be there to save me/fall in love with me.