Look At Your Life, Look At Your Choices

Lately, I've been going to a coffee shop to try to get work done, because when I'm at home my non-working mother is too much of a distraction. I know that makes me sound like one of those assholes who goes to Starbucks to "work on my manuscript" just so people will see me and be impressed, but I really cannot get anything done with my mom around, plus I'm doing actual PR work for an actual paycheck, so cool your jets. Moving on, today I was lucky enough to get a little extra entertainment. Instead of just listening to music like I normally do, I happened to sit down right next to two guys who are playing some sort of online video computer game together (sorry I don't know the lingo, I may have been a drama nerd in high school, but at least I wasn't a computer nerd). It seems to be a World of Warcraft-esque game, something with fighting and mining and planes or some shit. It sounds pretty goony. Anyway, the big, fat guy with a goatee and goofy glasses appears to be mentoring the skinny, awkward guy with greasy hair and a chinstrap beard. It's very Obi Wan/Luke meets The Big Bang Theory, which is a show I've watched exactly twice because I live with my parents so stop judging me, you jerks. Honestly, listening to them has made my having an absurd amount of work to do slightly bearable. Obi Wan is also wearing a blue tooth earpiece and discussing weapons and strategy with someone who is not present. From what I've surmised after listening to one side of the conversation, the other person may be in Romania. Cool. Also, the skinny guy is smoking one of those electronic cigarettes that uses water vapor that they advertise on late night television. It's pretty delightful. On a more depressing note, it appears that they are both married, so that makes me feel awesome about myself. I can't get a date, but the two goons who spend their entire Monday playing a computer game together are married? These guys clearly don't have jobs even though they appear to be in their early 30s, they know way too much about and try too hard at online games, and are frankly highly unattractive and they have significant others?! I need to get my act together. On a final note, they are apparently spending actual money to buy weapons and shit for this game. Jesus Christ, guys, look at your lives, look at your choices. I hate everyone.

UPDATE: They just left, and before walking out the door, Obi Wan put on a super sick fedora. Good hat choice, brah. Way to seal the spot for Kewlest Guy. You look super seksi.

Back Where I Come From

Well, after almost exactly 10 months in the city, I've come to a conclusion. I miss the South. I miss driving and having a porch and grass and trees and space. I never thought of myself as a super "Southern" person. I have travelled a bit in my life. I've been to Europe. I speak French. I enjoy meeting people of varied backgrounds. I thought, all of this considered, that New York would be the perfect place for me. I was wrong.
New York is an interesting place. There are over 8 million people in the boroughs, many of whom are not originally from New York or even the United States. At any given time, there are dozens of things to do. It's an exciting place. What I've learned in my time here is that I am not an exciting person. A perfect day to me is one spent drinking beer in the sunshine, maybe playing corn hole with friends, laughing and generally lazing about. New York is not the place for that. New York is the place for cool people. It's where you live if you like constantly being inundated with new sights and sounds and faces. It's where you live if you want to be on the cutting edge of music and fashion and culture. I thought that I wanted those things, but now I realize that I like a slow paced atmosphere. I'm a pretty laid-back person, and New York, as it turns out, is not a laid back town. So, on Tuesday, April 3 at 11:59 a.m. I will board a plane to the South. I'll be living with my parents for a few months before ultimately moving to my favorite place in the world, Athens, GA, in August. Hopefully moving back to Athens will give me the motivation I need to go to grad school. If it does, let's all just keep our fingers crossed that UGA will let me be a student there again.
Because so many people hold New York as the greatest city in the world, I was at first worried that I was some sort of a failure for not being totally happy here, but then I realized that New York being an incredible city does not necessitate my happiness. I think the important thing to remember is that New York is a great city, but you can only be happy in a city if you like cities, no matter how great or shitty. I have learned from my brief time here that I am not in love with cities, and I'm pretty sure cities aren't in love with me. I have nothing against cities, they're great for a visit, but I'm just not ready to commit.
To the people that I have met in the City:
Sorry I didn't really tell any of you I was leaving. I'm really bad at goodbyes. Actually, I'm just really bad at doing anything in person, hence the blog. You're all great, and I'll miss you. Thank you all for everything you did for me. I really do appreciate it, even if I'm not good at showing it.
The long and the short of it is that I came to New York to find myself, and I wasn't here. I think I may be in Athens, but then again, I have a very strong feeling that I may actually be on the West Coast. I'll let y'all know when I figure it out. For now, give me a call if you find yourself in the Portable City (that's Mobile, y'all).