Look At Your Life, Look At Your Choices

Lately, I've been going to a coffee shop to try to get work done, because when I'm at home my non-working mother is too much of a distraction. I know that makes me sound like one of those assholes who goes to Starbucks to "work on my manuscript" just so people will see me and be impressed, but I really cannot get anything done with my mom around, plus I'm doing actual PR work for an actual paycheck, so cool your jets. Moving on, today I was lucky enough to get a little extra entertainment. Instead of just listening to music like I normally do, I happened to sit down right next to two guys who are playing some sort of online video computer game together (sorry I don't know the lingo, I may have been a drama nerd in high school, but at least I wasn't a computer nerd). It seems to be a World of Warcraft-esque game, something with fighting and mining and planes or some shit. It sounds pretty goony. Anyway, the big, fat guy with a goatee and goofy glasses appears to be mentoring the skinny, awkward guy with greasy hair and a chinstrap beard. It's very Obi Wan/Luke meets The Big Bang Theory, which is a show I've watched exactly twice because I live with my parents so stop judging me, you jerks. Honestly, listening to them has made my having an absurd amount of work to do slightly bearable. Obi Wan is also wearing a blue tooth earpiece and discussing weapons and strategy with someone who is not present. From what I've surmised after listening to one side of the conversation, the other person may be in Romania. Cool. Also, the skinny guy is smoking one of those electronic cigarettes that uses water vapor that they advertise on late night television. It's pretty delightful. On a more depressing note, it appears that they are both married, so that makes me feel awesome about myself. I can't get a date, but the two goons who spend their entire Monday playing a computer game together are married? These guys clearly don't have jobs even though they appear to be in their early 30s, they know way too much about and try too hard at online games, and are frankly highly unattractive and they have significant others?! I need to get my act together. On a final note, they are apparently spending actual money to buy weapons and shit for this game. Jesus Christ, guys, look at your lives, look at your choices. I hate everyone.

UPDATE: They just left, and before walking out the door, Obi Wan put on a super sick fedora. Good hat choice, brah. Way to seal the spot for Kewlest Guy. You look super seksi.