If My Friends Were Famous

My totally normal and dignified friend Emily Elizabeth Burgis (not to be confused with Emily Elizabeth of Clifford the Big Red Dog fame) and I are, more than likely, two of the funniest people on the planet. I'm not being pompous, I'm just being honest. We spend hours talking in an assortment of accents about an assortment of topics including, but not limited to: bourginess, cults, Italy, booze, Scooby-Doo, really anything that happens to come on television or pop into our little brains. We also like to say "boom" at the end of phrases for emphasis. Sometimes just to say it. And, if I do say so myself, we are freaking hilarious. This afternoon, Christina and I had to talk Emily out of going to a "meeting" in the Ambassador Room at the Holiday Inn with a woman named Claire Elliot who had gotten Emily's information from an undisclosed source and had offered her the chance at an "internship" that paid up to $8,000. In this context, "meeting" means kidnapping and "internship" means cult induction. Either that or pyramid scheme. Back to the issue at hand, it is an acute understanding of our incredible God-given hilarity that has led us to the conclusion that we should have our own television show. It's going to be called "If My Friends Were Famous" and we're planning on pitching it to CBS. I'd prefer NBC, but they have a pretty successful line-up already, and FOX has Glee to compete with, so I figured the channel that features Two and a Half Men and about 8 different variations of How I Met Your Mother would probably be the easiest sell. The show will be a sort of Seinfeld meets the Real World; a situational reality comedy about nothing where there is little to no drama or sex, but mostly just really, really ridiculous girls getting drunk and bro-ing around with horrible fake English accents. Be sure to check your local listings this fall. I think it will be big in Romania.